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inspiration » C - Other Things We Like » 05 - The Poets Lounge » Something New
 
     
 
 
Author Topic: Something New
Mordeth
Lord of Flies
LVL: 601
posted 17 May 2005 01:17 AM      $post_id   Email Mordeth   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
Because the rest of you suck, and have become horrible lurkers. I have decided to post some of my new stuff. I finished this one last week, tell me what you think. It is untitled at the moment and I am still undecided on how I feel about it:

~~~~~~~~

My world was drowning in despair.
I was stranded, with no escape.
Lost in the expanding darkness,
All I wanted was a way out.

Everything was out of control,
I just wanted another start.
Away from the fear and the pain,
With someone I thought I could trust.

I was trapped and prayed for release,
It was you who answered my cry.
I thought that you could set me free,
Not knowing how wrong I could be.

I held you tightly in my arms,
And gazed deeply into your eyes.
What I saw quickly broke my heart,
It was only more false dreams and lies.


You only truly lose when winning becomes more important than playing.


Posts: 409 | ID: 61  |  Aligned: iniquity  |  House: Decay
Patchface
Fist of Thunder
LVL: 17
posted 19 May 2005 05:28 AM      $post_id   Email Patchface   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
/unlurk

I find it very moving, Mordeth...

But also quite depressing, so I hope there's no more than a smidgeon of autobiographical content...

Good stuff

Patch





People overgeneralize too often


Posts: 62 | ID: 69  |  Aligned: unaligned  |  House: Element
Mordeth
Lord of Flies
LVL: 601
posted 19 May 2005 07:36 PM      $post_id   Email Mordeth   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
Thanks alot for the compliment patch.

And no the poem isn't completely about me, I am not that depressed.


You only truly lose when winning becomes more important than playing.


Posts: 409 | ID: 61  |  Aligned: iniquity  |  House: Decay
Ishamael
Throne of Decay
LVL: 777

posted 23 May 2005 01:01 AM      $post_id   Author's Homepage   Email Ishamael   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
Hehhee, yeah, not being that depressed is a good thing - but dark stuff is always nice. Again - well done Mordeth, you have a knack for it, obviously. Again on this one - first verse is the best. Very strong. :)
Posts: 793 | ID: 7  |  Aligned: iniquity  |  House: decay