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inspiration » C - Other Things We Like » 05 - The Poets Lounge » Ah, well...
 
     
 
 
Author Topic: Ah, well...
Patchface
Fist of Thunder
LVL: 17
posted 19 May 2005 05:42 AM      $post_id   Email Patchface   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
As I had some time on my hands anyway, I decided to post another poem (a more recent one, at that)

Hopefully somebody'll tell me what they think about about it, considering the low traffic recently...

.....


In your eyes I see the light
when in solitude, alone
I close my mind, I'm like the night
in which nothing is my own

Like a child, I need your love
in a passionate array
Stooping low, I'm looking above my
secret hide-away

In a way I truly admit
to be the fool I must appear
But when it's dark, and all must be unlit
I know that you are near

I close my eyes, my mind is set free
for in this world I will always be...

yours...


It's not my best - certainly not in English - but I wrote it in about 2 minutes, so be gentle...


Patch out





People overgeneralize too often


Posts: 62 | ID: 69  |  Aligned: unaligned  |  House: Element
Mordeth
Lord of Flies
LVL: 601
posted 19 May 2005 07:40 PM      $post_id   Email Mordeth   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
I really like this poem. The fact that you wrote it in 2 minutes makes it that much better. Only 2 of mine ever came out that quickly and one of them was much shorter than yours. You have a great knack for writing, keep it up Patch.


You only truly lose when winning becomes more important than playing.


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Ishamael
Throne of Decay
LVL: 777

posted 23 May 2005 01:00 AM      $post_id   Author's Homepage   Email Ishamael   Send New Private Message    Reply With Quote 
Late to the party, sorry folks...

Very nice patch, especially in english and in 2 mins. You should definitely keep at it, and if you have any old stuff lying around we'd love to see it.

I like to pick out stuff I like, and I love the first verse, especially "I close my mind, I'm like the night"

Keep it coming! :)

Posts: 793 | ID: 7  |  Aligned: iniquity  |  House: decay